What am I Doing? Letter to Myself

Dear  Me… and whoever else is reading this.

What the f*** am I doing?  Wait I know… I am trying to work full time, parent my awesome kids that I know are trying to slow kill me or assert dominance – is there really a difference – and try to keep my marriage breathing and thriving.  Not too much on my plate… HAH!

Thank goodness I am not actually alone in all this.  I have a group of super hero friends.  We can call them the Wine Squad! Why a pseudonym for a group of friends you ask,  especially since this is a letter to “me”… because while I have proven lately that I am ok putting myself out there, it’s not for me to do that to them.  So they will remain the Wine Squad for now.

Back to my point… did I have a point?  Oh yes, so I am trying really hard to keep my head above water.  This has been so much harder lately, but that could just be because my back is F***ED to high hell, and that makes treading water uber easy,  (if you can’t joke about the stress it makes this motherhood thing SO much harder).

The hubs asks me jokingly multiple times a day, “why did we have kids”… then they do something like hug you with hot sweaty hands on the back of your neck, tell a joke that only someone with your messed up sense of humour would understand, say “I love you” or just smile; then there it is.  There is reason.  To see your heart live outside you, and your lungs take air from  beyond your own body.

So really, what is my point here…?  To be honest, it’s to vent it out and remind myself, and whoever else that none of us are alone.  We are part of such a huge community, and we can all be there, just to put out our truths so someone else can read it and not feel alone either.

Can I promise to be the funniest thing you’ll read – no at all.  Never actually if you believe the hub

Can I promise to share it all, put it out there even when TMI – for sure.  Because for me I have learned that keeping it in will solely poison me, and make asserting dominance for the wee ones so much easier.

So here’s to truth, and not feeling alone… Cheers to me, and no one, and everyone!

~amky

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